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 miércoles, 24 de septiembre de 2014 ESPAÑA
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  Firmas Invitadas - Edición Nº 125
Semana del 23/07/2004
¡Más madera!
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Óscar Molina
L A locomotora de la Oposición transitó en los últimos dos años del Gobierno anterior a una velocidad de crucero brutal; lo mismo se quemaban en sus calderas petroleros hundidos, que aviones estrellados; igualmente valía la muerte de un periodista destacado en una guerra (lugar donde habitualmente muere gente), que un submarino nuclear horrible y cansino. Magnífica hoguera hacían las mujeres maltratadas y asesinadas, al igual que el “No a las Guerras que no molan”. Buen combustible eran los “motivos” en celuloide de los paniaguados de la Checa de Bellas Artes, como las proclamas de Pilar Bardem recordando los años de la posguerra en tremendo alarde conciliador. Tan copioso fuego salía de unas piedras a las sedes del PP, como de unos gritos de “¡asesino!” convenientemente repartidos.

-“Oye tronco, eso que metes en la caldera, ¿no es el piano del abuelo?”

-“Pues sí tío, pero el jefe dice que vale lo que sea, que lo importante es que esto arda”

Y así, echando humo de frentepopulismo posmoderno, halló la locomotora sus trenes, esos que le dieron en el último momento la inesperada victoria al maquinista que quemaba las vigas de la casa con una sonrisa. Sin esos trenes, el maquinista sonriente no hubiera podido jugársela a una estrategia que parece que le encantaba también a un ventajista que se reúne con terroristas, y hasta tiene el número del móvil de uno de ellos supuestamente dedicado a la política. Sin los trenes, el fogonero del maquinista sonriente no hubiera podido salir a dar una rueda de prensa el día de la jornada de reflexión y decir eso de “Nos merecemos un Jefe de Estación que no mienta; voten al maquinista sonriente”; y a pesar del hediondo olor que desprendía la chimenea de la locomotora, la cosa fue para adelante.

Conseguido esto, y canjeadas las obligaciones contraídas por sus correspondientes subvenciones a la mediocridad, “estatuts” nacionales, cupos vascos y deudas históricas, llega el turno del golpe de efecto: nos traemos los soldados, le damos la patada a los gringos y nos felicitamos a nosotros mismos (Lobo el de “Pulp Fiction” hubiese empleado otra expresión). Luego suprimimos con talante todo lo que hizo el PP, hacemos una temporada lo que hacían ellos pero al revés, y…ya está.

-“No Jefe, es que ahora hay que gobernar”

-¿Gobernar? Pero si no tengo nada preparado, si nosotros no íbamos a ganar.

-Bueno, pues sacamos la locomotora otra vez, que eso se nos da de miedo.

Y en eso estamos; resulta que ahora aparece una auditoría de infarto (de infarto de risa supongo) que revela que Aznar nos tenía al borde de la ruina. Vamos, que si llega a salir Rajoy y sigue con esa política hubiéramos tenido que vender la exclusiva de la Boda Real, empeñar el Portaaeronaves y traspasar a Fernando Torres. Hasta la camisa debemos oiga, con las ocurrencias del despilfarrador este del bigote. Y claro, ahora a estos austeros y celosos administradores no les queda otra que endeudarnos más, porque si no, no salen las cuentas.

Yo lo que no entiendo es cómo dio su parabién el Sr. Solbes desde Europa a lo que ahora ve tan mal. A mí me da que Don Pedro no se leía las cuentas que le llegaban y estaba en Bruselas para admirar al “Maneken Pis” y ponerse “morao” de mejillones al vapor, que por allí están de rechupete. La verdad no sé si será bueno dejarle la administración de mi dinero a un tío que no se lee los papeles; y casi pienso que caben varias posibilidades: o miente ahora, o mintió cuando estaba en Europa; o no se entera ahora, o no se enteraba cuando estaba en Europa. Ante ambas disyuntivas, la mentira o ineptitud transitorias, su dimisión es algo que me tranquilizaría bastante tratándose de mi pasta, la que gano currando.

El tema de la Comisión del 11-M les está dando poco combustible, pero es de justicia reconocer el encaje de bolillos que están haciendo para arrimar el ascua a su sardina. En eso, “El País” (Diario Independiente de la Mañana, y supongo que manipulado por la tarde) y la SER son auténticos maestros, porque hay que ver cómo son capaces de convertir cagadas de moscas en montones de estiércol; cómo se han especializado en sacar punta a las cosas más inverosímiles para apoyar sus teorías, y de qué manera se agarran a frases sueltas de los comparecientes para respaldar sus hipótesis. Cualquier día de estos veremos como titular de portada del periódico de Polanco algo así: “Coronel de la Guardia Civil frunce el ceño al ser preguntado por la posible autoría de ETA”, noticia que vendrá ampliada en el interior con la descripción de la forma en que se rascaba la oreja el susodicho coronel cuando le preguntaban por los detonadores, y las evidentes implicaciones de ese gesto.

La caldera empieza a oler fatal desde que empezaron a alimentarla con Yak 42; la verdad que tira de maravilla, pero apesta. No seré yo quien discuta la evidente responsabilidad del anterior Gobierno en este asunto (lo tengo dicho y escrito) pero me parece que el estirón de este chicle empieza a sobrepasar las fronteras del buen gusto, para entrar en el territorio del cutrerío y la carroña más vergonzosa. Todo lo que ha rodeado a este tema y su tratamiento desde que el Partido Socialista llegó al poder se ha utilizado en clave arrojadiza, y el uso y exhibición obscena de estas cosas no hacen sino revelar lo poco que tienen que ofrecer algunos, que no saben hacer política sin señalar los errores ajenos, incluso con aparatoso mal gusto en las formas y las sustancias.

En fin, que como sigan así, se quedan sin madera antes de que acabe el verano.
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Edición 625 - No se aplica
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Edición 616 - La mujer que yo quiero
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Edición 570 - Carta del alférez Molina y Rubio sobre la decadencia de la flota de Indias
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Edición 569 - Vamos a ser ejemplo
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Edición 530 - Iberia: confesión en parte
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Edición 524 - Soy piloto de Iberia
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Edición 520 - Sobrevolando el páramo
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Edición 501 - Legitimidades muy caras
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Edición 494 - Banderas de nuestros padres
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Edición 488 - ¿Indignados? ¿Ahora?
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Edición 485 - La hora de los valientes
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Edición 482 - Muerte sin dignidad
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Edición 475 - En nombre de la libertad
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Edición 466 - Sectores privilegiados
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Edición 458 - La lección de los controladores
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Edición 456 - Mientras Vd. duerme
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Edición 455 - La moral de cada uno
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Edición 453 - Ryanair, todo al negro
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Edición 450 - El espejo vacío
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Edición 448 - La gilipollez infatigable
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Edición 447 - Sindicatos y bancos pintados
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Edición 446 - España posible
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Edición 434 - Carta
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Edición 429 - Traiciones
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Edición 428 - Pena, penita, pena…
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Edición 420 - Menudas historias III: la tabla de salvación
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Edición 418 - Cerco a la Excelencia
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Edición 416 - Susto o muerte
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Edición 414 - Un escándalo de 153 muertos
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Edición 413 - La conquista del Sur (Menudas historias II)
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Edición 412 - Incapacidad planetaria
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Edición 410 - Elvis que estás en el cielo
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Edición 409 - ¡Pobre aviación!
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Edición 404 - ¿Y la Pandemia?
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Edición 402 - Soy de derechas
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Edición 401 - ¿Ke tal abuela?
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Edición 399 - La tutela que nos mata
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Edición 398 - Menudas historias (I).- Blas de Lezo: el día que perdieron los ingleses
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Edición 397 - Una churrería
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Edición 396 - Carta de un Soldado de Flandes (VII)
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Edición 385 - Salvemos a Rayan
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Edición 381 - De mafias chinas
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Edición 376 - La calle domesticada
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Edición 374 - El tramposo, su padre y los consentimientos
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Edición 372 - Los barrotes que nos protegen
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Edición 370 - Improcedente precedente
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Edición 368 - Ni Robin Hood nos queda
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Edición 366 - Señor Touriño, siguiente pregunta
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Edición 364 - Arde España
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Edición 363 - Atasco 2.0
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Edición 361 - Las buenas horas que el dinero no puede pagar
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Edición 359 - SEPLA: mitos y mentiras
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Edición 357 - Copas de pino
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Edición 356 - GLORIA LOMANA, O EL PERIODISMO DE BAJO COSTE
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Edición 352 - La Cruzada
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Edición 350 - Leire can
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Edición 346 - Garzón no ha estado en Arlington
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Edición 342 - Yo filtro, tú manipulas
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Edición 341 - Aquí estamos
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Edición 340 - Tuertos a manos de ciegos
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Edición 338 - La piedra
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Edición 337 - El oso, el dragón y el chacal
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Edición 335 - Cuando lo que mata es el reloj
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Edición 333 - ¿Quién paga el pato?
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Edición 332 - ‘Casual’
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Edición 331 - ¡Enhorabuena,niño!
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Edición 327 - Pepiño, ese filón
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Edición 326 - El señorito Iván
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Edición 325 - Fumarse la Ley
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Edición 321 - Bochorno a estribor
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Edición 320 - De ''1984'' a 2008
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Edición 317 - Las tres patas del triunfo
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Edición 316 - La vida secreta de las palabras
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Edición 315 - El miedo guarda la urna
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Edición 314 - Currículum con garrafón
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Edición 312 - Miedo en el cuerpo
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Edición 311 - ¡Eh, vosotros!
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Edición 306 - El juguete jubilado
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Edición 305 - Felicidad
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Edición 304 - Aquel 2008
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Edición 301 - Otra vez
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Edición 296 - Carta de un soldado de Flandes
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Edición 288 - Caracas
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Edición 287 - Emputecidos
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Edición 286 - Incompetencia por puntos
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Edición 280 - La apoteosis del garrulo
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Edición 279 - Adiós Fernando. ¡Hasta siempre!
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Edición 278 - ¡Aupa pues!
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Edición 277 - Descerebrados
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Edición 276 - La única revolución pendiente
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Edición 275 - El último palo del tenderete
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Edición 274 - Del voto al panorama, o viceversa
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Edición 273 - El día de la Marmota
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Edición 270 - Por la de en medio
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Edición 269 - Hablemos con propiedad
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Edición 268 - Hermanos de sangre
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Edición 267 - El Manifiesto
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Edición 266 - El Oceano Mediterraneo
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Edición 265 - Aramburu, el animal corral
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Edición 264 - Democracia de baratillo
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Edición 263 - El clavo ardiendo
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Edición 262 - ¡Qué solos se quedan los muertos!
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Edición 261 - Que se besen
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Edición 260 - No es suficiente
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Edición 259 - Visones
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Edición 258 - Oleguer
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Edición 257 - Carta de un soldado de Flandes (VI)
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Edición 256 - Calles de fuego
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Edición 255 - El pescado está vendido
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Edición 254 - Que devuelva la rosa
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Edición 231 - Huelgas y dobles raseros
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Edición 230 - La vergüenza de Guantánamo
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Edición 229 - La bronca
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Edición 228 - Una de pilotos
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Edición 225 - ‘Txapote’, ese tonto
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Edición 224 - ¿Para qué pedís el “SÍ”?
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Edición 223 - ¡Son las ideas, idiota!
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Edición 222 - Los ojos de Pepiño
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Edición 221 - La ‘cultura’ al rescate
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Edición 220 - Váyase Sr. Torres
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Edición 219 - La ‘muerte digna’
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Edición 218 - Pobrecitos, están fatal
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Edición 217 - El rebaño
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Edición 216 - Si no hay canción, no hay nada
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Edición 215 - Hora de principios
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Edición 214 - 100: Los círculos del tronco
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Edición 213 - No entiendo nada
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Edición 212 - Que la Paz sea Paz
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Edición 211 - La legitimidad coja
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Edición 210 - Carta de un soldado de Flandes (V)
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Edición 209 - Progenitores A y B
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Edición 208 - Pobre Josu
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Edición 204 - El Carmelo, un año después
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Edición 201 - Ofensas gratuitas
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Edición 199 - El negociador
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Edición 197 - ¡Ea, ea, ea, Pepiño se cabrea!
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Edición 196 - Yo lo único que digo…
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Edición 195 - Patxi en la caverna mediática
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Edición 194 - Cero en tolerancia
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Edición 193 - Ya están aquí
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Edición 192 - Yo me apunto al talante
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Edición 191 - La oportunidad
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Edición 190 - La moda ZP
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Edición 187 - La digna soledad
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Edición 186 - Los mitos hacen caja
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Edición 185 - Carta de un soldado de Flandes (4)
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Edición 184 - OPA a España
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Edición 182 - Setas y relojes
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Edición 180 - Air France 358
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Edición 179 - Legión de pollinos
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Edición 178 - Escupir 'p´arriba'
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Edición 177 - ‘We´re not afraid’
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Edición 176 - Srebrenica
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Edición 175 - Poca libertad, mucha ira
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Edición 174 - El lobby gay
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Edición 173 - Movimiento rojiblanco de liberación
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Edición 172 - Las manos en las que estamos
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Edición 171 - Mikel
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Edición 170 - Francia
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Edición 169 - La onda expansiva
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Edición 168 - Nunca es triste la verdad...
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Edición 167 - La caballería y las picas
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Edición 166 - Esperanzadora Esperanza
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Edición 165 - Menudo negocio
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Edición 164 - La quiebra de España
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Edición 163 - Venga, politicemos todo
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Edición 162 - El talante se queda sentado
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Edición 161 - El vídeo
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Edición 160 - La guerra ha terminado
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Edición 159 - ¿Queremos saber?
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Edición 158 - Como los cangrejos
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Edición 157 - Mosieur le president
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Edición 156 - Carta abierta a Rodríguez Zapatero
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Edición 155 - Yo he votado 'no'
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Edición 154 - Carta de un soldado de Flandes (III)
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Edición 153 - Las íes sobre sus puntos
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Edición 152 - Vuelven los grises
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Edición 151 - No lo veo claro
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Edición 150 - Cerrando puertas, abriendo heridas
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Edición 149 - España no es España
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Edición 147 - Escenarios
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Edición 146 - Querida Señora
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Edición 145 - ZP no tiene un plan
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Edición 144 - Matones
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Edición 143 - Ser del ‘Atleti’
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Edición 142 - Chorradas de cuota
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Edición 141 - Sin identidad
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Edición 140 - Se aguó la fiesta
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Edición 139 - Yak 42: cagadas y chapoteos
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Edición 138 - Carta de un soldado de Flandes (2)
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Edición 137 - Irak, en la encrucijada
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Edición 136 - Los cagapoquitos
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Edición 135 - Educación para la ciudadanía
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Edición 134 - Producciones ZP
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Edición 133 - Los balcones del tonto
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Edición 132 - Tu foto, vuestra foto
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Edición 131 - Los talantazos de los santos inocentes
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Edición 130 - Huelgas
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Edición 129 - El talento de Mr. Shoemaker
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Edición 128 - La reunión, en casa del ‘mullah’ Omar
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Edición 127 - Por el Norte y por el Sur
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Edición 126 - ¿Quién ha sido?
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Edición 124 - Del Pluralismo hacia la Nada
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Edición 123 - Terroristas ‘cum laude’
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Edición 122 - ¿Son buenos los nuevos tiempos de la aviación comercial?
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Edición 121 - Antiamericanismo de saldo
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Edición 120 - El final de la luna de miel
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Edición 119 - Carta de un soldado de Flandes
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Edición 118 - La primavera de Medem
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Edición 117 - Los errores del PP
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Edición 116 - Torturas y dobles raseros
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Edición 115 - La pérdida de España
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Edición 114 - Las cosas de comer
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Edición 113 - Lo que nos jugamos en Irak
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Edición 112 - El erial ideológico
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Firmas
_
Abel Abascal
Alberto Acereda
Alfonso Berroya
Alfredo Amestoy
Álvaro Peña
Amilibia
Antonio Castro Villacañas
Antonio Martín Beaumont
Borja Álvarez
Carmen Planchuelo
Enrique de Aguinaga
Ernesto Ladrón de Guevara
Eulogio López
Félix Arbolí
Francisco Daunis
Gabriela Ardiles
Germán Lopezarias
Honorio Feito
Hugo Alberto de Pedro (Buenos Aires)
Ignacio San Miguel
Ismael Medina
Javier del Valle
Javier Neira
Jesús Ansebar
Jesús Pozo
Joan Pla
Joaquín Abad
José A. Baonza
José Luis Navas
José Manuel G. Torga
José Manuel G. Torga
José María Moncasi de Alvear
José Meléndez
Juan Pablo Mañueco
Juan Urrutia
Julen Urrutia
Luis Irazu
Manuel Salvador Morales
María del Mar García Aguiló
Marta Rivera de la Cruz
Matías J. Ros
Miguel Ángel García Brera
Miguel Ángel Loma
Miguel Martínez
Nieves Concostrina
Óscar Molina
Pancho Linde
Pascual de Bustares
Ramón Sánchez
Ricardo Navas-Ruiz
Vasco Lourinho (Portugal)
Víctor Corcoba
Wenceslao Pérez Gómez
Wifredo Espina
Yolanda Cruz
Yolanda Salanova
Zain Deane (Nueva York)
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