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  Firmas Invitadas - Edición Nº 145
Semana del 10/12/2004
Que se preparen los franceses
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Miguel Martínez
S I usted forma parte de aquéllos que, contraviniendo las más elementales normas de higiene y profilaxis para con su salud mental, ha adquirido la poco recomendable costumbre de leerme regularmente, recordará cómo, a propósito de una manifestación llevada a cabo en un pueblo barcelonés con corte de tráfico y caos circulatorio incluido, proponía éste que les escribe un nuevo método de protesta que, además de proporcionar un considerable impacto mediático, no resultaba perjudicial para los intereses de los que, coincidiendo en el espacio y en el tiempo con los manifestantes, nada tenían que ver ni con el motivo de sus quejas ni con la solución a sus legítimas peticiones.

Pues, aunque me cueste reconocerlo, una vez más nuestros vecinos franceses nos han superado. Han conseguido un imaginativo método de protesta con impacto cero en lo que a perjuicios para con sus conciudadanos se refiere. Es decir, que se manifiestan, protestan a lo grande y no molestan lo más mínimo a sus paisanos, lo cual es de agradecer. ¿Quién no se ha visto en medio de un enorme atasco de tráfico motivado por una veintena de agricultores que, tractor en ristre, bloquean toda una carretera nacional mientras se quejan de la competencia, injusta y desleal, a la que se ve sometido el sector agrícola patrio a causa del imparable aumento de las importaciones de la berenjena de Sri Lanka? Hortaliza que, dicho sea de paso, no le llega a las nuestras ni a la altura del tacón, ni en sabor, ni en presencia, ni en su alto contenido en antioxidantes que tanto bien hacen a nuestro organismo.

Pues debieran tomar nota nuestros labriegos del método de protesta ideado por los médicos especialistas franceses que han venido a manifestarse a Barcelona. Sí, como lo oyen. Bajo el pretexto – según el principal sindicato médico francés- de simular un exilio forzoso a una ciudad “ejemplo demostrativo de una región dinámica con una medicina liberal de calidad”, y con el fin añadido de pasarse unos días de vacaciones en la Ciudad Condal, unos mil quinientos médicos franceses cortaron la semana pasada la Avenida Diagonal durante un buen rato, a la vez que ponían a parir (en francés, por supuesto) a las autoridades sanitarias del otro lado de los Pirineos.

Y no me digan ustedes que no es para rebotarse, que si ya nos fastidia tener que soportar los inconvenientes causados por las manifestaciones de nuestros propios vecinos, imagínense la gracia y la alegría que nos ha de producir ver a mil y pico franceses dando saltos y gritos en plena Diagonal, acordándose de la señora madre de un ministro francés y, de paso, haciéndonos llegar tarde a nuestros compromisos y obligaciones.

Detrás de todas las protestas, que los sindicatos médicos franceses se han esmerado en disfrazar de una voluntad de su colectivo de mejorar el sistema sanitario francés, se encuentra, cómo no, el tema de los honorarios con los que la sanidad pública francesa corresponde a sus médicos.

Y, no se lo pierdan, a cambio de un incremento en sus retribuciones, los médicos se comprometen a contribuir al recorte del gasto sanitario con la reducción de la prescripción de antibióticos, ansiolíticos y fármacos anticolesterol, potenciar el uso de medicamentos genéricos y limitar sus bajas por enfermedad. O sea, que no contentos con fastidiarnos aún más el ya de por sí caótico tráfico de Barcelona, reconocen que recetan innecesariamente, que no prescriben genéricos porque no les sale del “chapeau” (o porque en ésos no llevan comisión) y que, si quisieran, podrían darse menos de baja por enfermedad de lo que vienen haciendo. ¿No hay para que nos venguemos de ellos?

Propongo yo a nuestros sindicatos que, a partir de ya, organicen todas las manifestaciones posibles en suelo francés, a ver la gracia que les hace.

Podríamos organizar un calendario de manifestaciones con los trabajadores de los astilleros de Cádiz (lunes), de Sevilla (miércoles) y de Asturias (viernes), y les mandamos para París tantos autobuses de obreros cabreados como podamos llenar. Que coloquen en Los Campos Elíseos sus barricadas de neumáticos, que les prendan fuego y que les dejen el Arco de Triunfo más negro que el sobaco de una pulga camerunesa. A ver qué les parece eso a nuestros vecinos. Los martes podríamos enviarles una tractorada quejándose del tema de las berenjenas y los jueves habría que exportarles una de ganaderos: ésos que llenan de ovejas (y de las cacas de éstas) el centro de Madrid cada dos por tres. Se van a enterar estos franceses. Que quizás nos ganen en producto interior bruto, en renta per capita y en cosas por el estilo, pero en protestar, en ensuciar calles y en armar jaleo.... Que se preparen.
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Edición 454 - De la visita del Papa
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Edición 452 - Degenerado, guarro, asqueroso, sinvergüenza e indeseable
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Edición 451 - Mensajes Premium
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Edición 450 - Popeye y Domingo
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Edición 437 - Huelga del Metro de Madrid
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Edición 436 - Homosexuales: gente normal y corriente
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Edición 435 - Tres dimensiones
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Edición 432 - Velos y demás adornos
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Edición 431 - Mujeres ricas
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Edición 427 - Al borde de la paranoia
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Edición 425 - Día de malos augurios: el ordenador, la sacarina y el mosquito que pudo ser tigre
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Edición 421 - Hideputas (II)
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Edición 420 - Hideputas
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Edición 412 - Munilla por un lado y xenofobia por el otro
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Edición 411 - God bless you please Mrs. Robinson
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Edición 407 - Hermann: el matón
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Edición 406 - SITEL
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Edición 403 - Inconvenientes de un nombre común, o llamamiento al notario Martínez
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Edición 399 - Mamadou Djouma
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Edición 393 - Phishing de pata negra
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Edición 392 - Operación Pandemia
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Edición 391 - Marcha atrás
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Edición 390 - Otra de vacaciones. (Hogar dulce hogar, segunda parte)
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Edición 389 - Hogar, dulce hogar: desventuras de un turista resignado
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Edición 379 - Campaña-basura
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Edición 378 - Copa, Liga y Champions
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Edición 377 - Funnel’s law: Clase de Física Catártica de sobremesa
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Edición 376 - Cadenas
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Edición 375 - La noche que el fútbol amó al fútbol
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Edición 374 - Vaticinando la victoria del Barça
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Edición 373 - Arenas el manipulador
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Edición 371 - Mareando la perdiz para no contarles nada serio
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Edición 370 - SCAM: Nuevo fraude a través de Internet
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Edición 369 - Mossos: A por ellos, oeeee, a por ellos, oeeee…
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Edición 368 - De Ratzinger y los condones, o antes muertos que pecadores
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Edición 367 - De velos, pañuelos y lavadoras
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Edición 366 - No es lo mismo. ¿O sí?
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Edición 365 - Halcón Viajes: 2 x 1=3
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Edición 363 - Actualidad movidita
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Edición 362 - Gol de Wyoming
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Edición 361 - De cómo hacer más livianas las horas de espera en un hospital
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Edición 360 - Otra gilipollez
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Edición 359 - Acentos
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Edición 357 - Shalom? Yes weekend
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Edición 356 - Cuento de Navidad
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Edición 355 - Más de la SGAE
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Edición 354 - Jóvenes y jóvenas
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Edición 352 - La imagen y las mil palabras
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Edición 351 - Yo tampoco vi la entrevista
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Edición 350 - Ajustarse el cinturón
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Edición 349 - Arte abstracto
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Edición 348 - Dime de lo que presumes…
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Edición 347 - En busca del ICC perdido
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Edición 346 - De sexuados, de híbridos y de obispos
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Edición 345 - A líneas revueltas (segunda parte)
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Edición 341 - Caso Mari Luz. No son los jueces el problema
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Edición 335 - Test de cultura general
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Edición 331 - Indiferencia y resignación en España por el triunfo de la selección
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Edición 323 - La educación, la abuela y el ciclista
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Edición 316 - El timbaler del Bruc
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Edición 310 - El PPez que se muerde la cola
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Edición 309 - Ketchup
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Edición 308 - Educación Cívica: Educación para la Ciudadanía
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Edición 306 - El rector, el vicario y la fotocopiadora
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Edición 305 - Familias como Dios manda
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Edición 303 - Inteligencia emocional
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Edición 302 - Inmaculada Constitución: Un artículo plagiado
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Edición 301 - Pantomima
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Edición 300 - Partíos y doblaos
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Edición 299 - KK y + KK
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Edición 294 - Emilio Calatayud, Juez de Meno
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Edición 293 - 9-1. Loose Change (II)
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Edición 292 - 9-11. Loose Change
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Edición 291 - El violador del Vall d’Hebron
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Edición 290 - Caso Madelein. Suma y sigue
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Edición 289 - Caso Madelein. Dudas y desprop
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Edición 288 - Lo peor que le puede ocurrir a
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Edición 287 - Muertes en carretera, o echand
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Edición 286 - Las 25 leyes más absurdas del
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Edición 285 - Turismo de aventura: Túnez con
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Edición 284 - Moteros
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Edición 283 - Veredicto: Lesbiana
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Edición 280 - Dentistas
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Edición 279 - De protocolos y de un agradecimiento a los Mossos
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Edición 278 - ¿Desmotivación laboral? Un camino a la esperanza
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Edición 277 - Los lunes a la sombra
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Edición 276 - El Mundo no es la prensa
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Edición 275 - Guía para interpretar el fin de la tregua
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Edición 273 - De falacias y felaciones
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Edición 272 - Crispación electoral
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Edición 256 - Ligeras e incluso ingenuas reflexiones en torno al racismo
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Edición 221 - ¡¡¡Barça, Barça, Baaaaaaarça!!!
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Edición 220 - Ejercicio matemático o de la nariz de Rajoy
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Edición 219 - Respirando hondo
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Edición 218 - De pedos propios, de ajenos y de la victoria de Alejo
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Edición 217 - Pishing
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Edición 216 - No es lo que parece, o de los otros Bin Laden
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Edición 215 - Cardenal Tonini vs padre Guillermo
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Edición 214 - De tertulianos
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Edición 213 - De botellones (y botellonas)
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Edición 212 - Agencia Tributaria, buenos días
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Edición 211 - De mochilas y de vigas
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Edición 210 - Nación
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Edición 209 - Esqueletos con glamour
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Edición 208 - Miente usted, señor Rajoy
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Edición 207 - De condenas imaginativas y de Federico
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Edición 206 - Ustedes sabrán disculparme
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Edición 205 - Árbitros
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Edición 204 - Otra vez de sexo, pero ésta de pago
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Edición 203 - Ni de Salamanca, ni de militares, ni del catalán. De sexo
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Edición 202 - Regalos de España
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Edición 201 - Piratas
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Edición 200 - ¿Es Supermán de derechas o de izquierdas?
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Edición 199 - De la ley antitabaco, o a los fumadores ni agua
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Edición 198 - De espejos y de reflejos
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Edición 197 - De participios y gerundios
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Edición 196 - Pesadillas con final feliz
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Edición 195 - A propósito de los boicoteos
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Edición 194 - Tienes un mensaje de alguien que te quiere
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Edición 193 - De homínidos racistas
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Edición 192 - De guías de hoy y de consejos de los curas de ayer
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Edición 191 - De cierto comité de cierta federación
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Edición 190 - No estamos solos
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Edición 189 - De Dan Brown y Sevilla
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Edición 188 - Estatuto
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Edición 187 - De condones, de píldoras anticonceptivas y de la AEFC
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Edición 186 - Nubes, claros y chubascos aislados
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Edición 185 - De silbidos, de gamberros y de plumas viperinas
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Edición 184 - La madre que lo parió o la venganza de Barbara Bush
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Edición 183 - De compras y de rebajas
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Edición 182 - De estreses postvacacionales
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Edición 181 - Cerrado por vacaciones o el síndrome de agosto
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Edición 180 - Otra vez Movistar
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Edición 179 - ¿Justicia?
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Edición 178 - De vacaciones
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Edición 177 - De correo basura, de bulos y de mala leche
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Edición 176 - Del Vaticano, de multas y de prostitutas
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Edición 175 - De pasteleos
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Edición 174 - Expertos
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Edición 173 - El día más largo o el bombardeo continúa
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Edición 172 - Mitrados y pancartas
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Edición 171 - Viagra para los violadores
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Edición 170 - ¿Rosa o verde?
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Edición 169 - La teoría del 'depende'
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Edición 168 - Sólo para culés
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Edición 167 - Pompones castos
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Edición 166 - Más Bush 2 (o el retorno al Far West)
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Edición 165 - Bricomanía
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Edición 164 - Habemus Papam
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Edición 163 - La importancia del tamaño
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Edición 162 - De clínicas de cirugía estética, de Beckam y del Madrid-Barça
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Edición 161 - In dubio pro SGAE
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Edición 160 - Bertone versus ‘El Código Da Vinci’
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Edición 159 - De técnicos, de profesionales varios y de cédulas de habitabilidad
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Edición 158 - Seguros… ¿seguros?
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Edición 157 - Sale caro ser honrado
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Edición 156 - Ikea
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Edición 155 - Ya es posible ser invisible
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Edición 154 - Otro de telefónicas
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Edición 153 - Huelgas de quitarse el sombrero
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Edición 152 - Zapatero a tus zapatos
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Edición 151 - Supositorios no, gracias
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Edición 150 - ¿Y si los dejamos sin nombre?
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Edición 149 - De Reyes Magos
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Edición 148 - De bidés y de máquinas de cortar jamón
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Edición 147 - Lotería Nacional (y su puñetera madre)
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Edición 146 - Navidades y boicots
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Edición 144 - Obispos y condones
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Edición 143 - España va bien
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Edición 142 - De cómo los Príncipes de Asturias fueron cariñosamente aclamados
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Edición 141 - Teléfonos 806, 807... Números de ocio (y de negocio)
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Edición 140 - Más Bush
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Edición 139 - Buttiglione y la madre (casada) que lo parió
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Edición 138 - Los datos de Movistar (que otrora fueran míos)
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Edición 137 - Sexo con seso
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Edición 136 - Belinda Washington. (O madre no hay más que una)
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Edición 135 - Mentiras
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Edición 134 - Los estadounidenses y su imagen
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Edición 133 - Metralletas en el supermercado
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Edición 132 - Tetas
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Edición 131 - Publicidad
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Edición 130 - Pujol y el mestizaje
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Edición 129 - Las leyes de Murphy
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Edición 128 - Estadísticas
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Edición 127 - Un cuento chino
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Edición 126 - ¿Y a usted qué le parece que se casen los curas?
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Edición 125 - Servicios ¿secretos?
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Edición 124 - Rebujito de verano
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Edición 123 - Estopa
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Edición 122 - Las calles cortadas
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Edición 121 - Eliminados de la Eurocopa
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Edición 120 - Sin papeles
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Edición 119 - Espías de su graciosa majestad
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Edición 118 - Derecho a la ignorancia
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Edición 117 - En la boda faltaron pobres
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Edición 116 - Políticos en campaña
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Edición 115 - Telecaca
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Edición 114 - Mensajes y jerigonzas
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Edición 113 - Confidente y buena gente
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Firmas
_
Abel Abascal
Alberto Acereda
Alfonso Berroya
Alfredo Amestoy
Álvaro Peña
Amilibia
Antonio Castro Villacañas
Antonio Martín Beaumont
Borja Álvarez
Carmen Planchuelo
Enrique de Aguinaga
Ernesto Ladrón de Guevara
Eulogio López
Félix Arbolí
Francisco Daunis
Gabriela Ardiles
Germán Lopezarias
Honorio Feito
Hugo Alberto de Pedro (Buenos Aires)
Ignacio San Miguel
Ismael Medina
Javier del Valle
Javier Neira
Jesús Ansebar
Jesús Pozo
Joan Pla
Joaquín Abad
José A. Baonza
José Luis Navas
José Manuel G. Torga
José Manuel G. Torga
José María Moncasi de Alvear
José Meléndez
Juan Pablo Mañueco
Juan Urrutia
Julen Urrutia
Luis Irazu
Manuel Salvador Morales
María del Mar García Aguiló
Marta Rivera de la Cruz
Matías J. Ros
Miguel Ángel García Brera
Miguel Ángel Loma
Miguel Martínez
Nieves Concostrina
Óscar Molina
Pancho Linde
Pascual de Bustares
Ramón Sánchez
Ricardo Navas-Ruiz
Vasco Lourinho (Portugal)
Víctor Corcoba
Wenceslao Pérez Gómez
Wifredo Espina
Yolanda Cruz
Yolanda Salanova
Zain Deane (Nueva York)
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