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  Firmas Invitadas - Edición Nº 217
Semana del 4/27/2006
Crónicas políticas
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Juan Urrutia
E STE es el primer capítulo de los tres que conforman Crónicas Políticas. Un compendio de los detalles más relevantes de la vida política de tres profesionales en la gestión de nuestros intereses o de los suyos.


Voy a hablarles en esta ocasión de un hombre que resume perfectamente en su persona todo lo deplorable del nacionalismo: amiguismo, fanatismo, doble moral, victimismo y el deseo de convertir a todos los vascos en una fusión humana de pensamiento único. Este ser excepcional no es otro que el alcalde de Guecho, el ilustrísimo señor Iñaki Zarraoa.


En Agosto del dos mil tres, las ediles del PP y PSE Marisa Arrúe y Gotzone Mora acudieron a su ayuntamiento, el de Guecho, para asistir a la recepción en honor de unos regatistas franceses. El alcalde que nos ocupa les gritó públicamente que no estaban invitadas, y, cuando ellas defendieron su derecho a estar allí, don Zarraoa las amenazó con enviar a la policía municipal si volvían a presentarse en algún acto organizado por la alcaldía. Tras tan cortés actuación dio la bienvenida a los regatistas vanagloriándose de la hospitalidad de su pueblo.


Hay hechos que por su condición absurda nos hacen pensar que sólo son posibles en las películas o en las novela fantásticas. Uno sucedió en Julio del dos mil cuatro: Zabala Etxegaray, condenado por colaborar con el “comando Vizcaya” es contratado como ordenanza por el ayuntamiento regentado por el buen Zarraoa. Se ocupará además de la seguridad del mismo. Es evidente que el alcalde en cuestión no obraba de mala fe. Mi buen amigo Josu Goikoetxea, que lo conoce bien, contaba el otro día —mientras yo le daba una soberbia paliza pescando mojarras— que es un hombre de de una educación y honradez fuera de lo común: por su ausencia, claro.


Llegamos al dos mil cinco. Haciendo gala de la educación y honradez de las que hablábamos antes, este individuo acusa a la policía municipal de abandonar a los ciudadanos ante la kale-borroka, que por aquellas fechas había conseguido dejar a Nerón como un simple aprendiz en eso de quemar ciudades. Era de suponer que ante tales imputaciones los sindicatos policiales respondieran al unísono. Y lo hicieron, informando a la ciudadanía de que su ausencia era motivada por… ¿no lo adivinaran?, Iñaki Zarraoa, el cual los mantuvo recluidos en la jefatura o patrullando por lugares absurdos donde el mayor peligro era pisar las deposiciones de algún incívico caniche.
Ese mismo año tuvo la brillante idea de repartir insignias para identificar a los vascófonos, con objeto de que el español no fuera hablado innecesariamente. Es probable que, con el tiempo, a los no vasco-parlantes les sean tatuados números de identificación en el antebrazo.


Hemos viajado en el tiempo y por fin estamos en el presente. En Enero del dos mil seis la fiscal jefe pide un informe aclaratorio de las irregularidades en la gestión de cierto ayuntamiento vizcaíno (ya supondrán cuál): el pago de facturas sin contrato previo. Hablamos de tres millones cuatrocientos mil euros para la recogida de basuras e incrementar, en más de un cincuenta por ciento, la diferencia entre el precio acordado y el abonado por varias obras. Véanse los accesos a la playa de Ereaga y a una urbanización en la zona de Usategui. Serían probablemente motivos, unidos a las actuaciones antes descritas, para que un partido político fusilase con heces de elefante a cualquiera de sus integrantes. A no ser, claro, que sea tan corrupto, sectario y fascista como el interfecto en cuestión.

Tiene además este hombre una curiosa moral dentro de su inmoralidad. Prohibió la desnudez en las zonas nudistas de su municipio. Todos sabemos lo infinitamente más peligroso que es un señor tostándose los vericuetos que un terrorista.
Ya durante su etapa de profesor en Azkorri, entraba presa de brutal histeria al recinto donde se estaba celebrando el baile escolar de turno y encendía las luces al grito de “¡¿qué estáis haciendo?!” Así se habla, que se empieza haciendo manitas y acaba uno siendo padre a los doce años, pagando una hipoteca a los catorce y para los veinticinco has vivido tan rápido que te mueres de extrema vejez.

Lo hasta aquí relatado no es nuevo ni desconocido en el País Vasco, simplemente no se actúa y don Iñaki Zarraoa sigue campando a sus anchas por su Marbella particular.
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Otros artículos del autor:
Edición 558 - Rebuznos políticos
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Edición 509 - Purgandus politicus
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Edición 505 - Lágrimas de Rubaldrilo
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Edición 494 - La pluma es más poderosa que la espada
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Edición 491 - Crónicas de Bilduchistán
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Edición 489 - Voy a matar a tu padre
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Edición 487 - Bilduchistán
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Edición 486 - Democrimencracia
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Edición 480 - Bildu viene de beldur
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Edición 461 - Noticioso Navideño
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Edición 447 - Un día de cine
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Edición 445 - Solos ante el peligro
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Edición 438 - Últimas noticias
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Edición 426 - León no es Castilla
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Edición 420 - En memoria de Jean Serge-Nérin
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Edición 419 - 11-M
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Edición 414 - Problema resuelto
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Edición 413 - Asimov en el Supermercado
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Edición 412 - ¿Sherlock Holmes?
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Edición 410 - Chicago
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Edición 409 - Adiós 2009
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Edición 407 - Más dinero, es la guerra
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Edición 403 - Adiós tía, adiós
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Edición 401 - Lo que son las cosas
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Edición 398 - Agravio comparativo
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Edición 397 - Dromedario de la Lengua Española IX
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Edición 396 - Polanski
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Edición 395 - Dromedario de la lengua española VIII
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Edición 393 - 6 de septiembre
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Edición 392 - El futuro
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Edición 388 - Atentado en Mallorca
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Edición 387 - Atentado en Burgos (Artículo dedicado a la Guardia Civil)
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Edición 386 - Un café con churros, por favor
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Edición 385 - Disfruten de la muerte
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Edición 384 - El rey del pop
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Edición 381 - Dromedario de la lengua española VII
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Edición 380 - La ética del batasuno
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Edición 379 - Politiqueos
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Edición 378 - Aborto juvenil
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Edición 377 - Es la guerra, otra vez
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Edición 376 - Tiene Bilbao, un gran tesoro…
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Edición 375 - Amigos y enemigos
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Edición 374 - Derrocando, que es gerundio
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Edición 373 - Estamos en democracia
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Edición 371 - Dromedario de la lengua española VI
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Edición 369 - Feliz matrimonio
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Edición 367 - Feudalismo vasco
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Edición 366 - Regalo cachorro
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Edición 364 - In Memoriam
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Edición 360 - Dios coge el autobús
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Edición 357 - Qué se muera
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Edición 356 - Todo cambia
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Edición 355 - Un buen libro
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Edición 354 - Remando en dirección contraria
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Edición 353 - Antes y después
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Edición 352 - Veganismo
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Edición 351 - La detención del siglo
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Edición 350 - El Infierno Vasco
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Edición 349 - Norteamérica votó
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Edición 348 - Amenazas de por vida
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Edición 347 - Los garbanzos en remojo saben mejor
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Edición 343 - ‘Por causas que no comprendemos’
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Edición 342 - Intención de matar
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Edición 341 - El homenaje
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Edición 339 - Más cara que espalda
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Edición 338 - Horror y vergüenza
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Edición 335 - Dos bombillas para tí
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Edición 334 - Al fin una buena noticia
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Edición 333 - De Juana, otra vez De Juana
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Edición 332 - Clases magistrales
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Edición 331 - Torres no sólo venció en Europa
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Edición 330 - Nanysex
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Edición 329 - Losantos inocentes
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Edición 328 - Lo que nos espera
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Edición 327 - Ideas luminosas
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Edición 325 - Malos y buenos
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Edición 324 - Dedicado a la memoria de Juan Manuel Piñuel Villalón
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Edición 323 - Playas familiares
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Edición 322 - Y cundió el ejemplo de Fraga
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Edición 321 - Conciencias gangrenadas
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Edición 320 - Igualdad
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Edición 319 - Arte asesino
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Edición 318 - El chimpancé de dos cabezas
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Edición 317 - Matones de chupete
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Edición 315 - Los vascos también dijeron no
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Edición 313 - Durmiendo con su enemigo
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Edición 312 - Mi comandante
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Edición 311 - Rojo de mierda
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Edición 310 - Von Hagens
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Edición 309 - Campaña electoral (O cómo volé de Londres a París en veinticinco horas y once minutos)
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Edición 306 - Tanto monta, monta tanto
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Edición 305 - Hasta que baje el telón
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Edición 304 - Canon
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Edición 303 - El conejo de pascua
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Edición 302 - Todos somos médicos
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Edición 301 - Malditos interrogantes
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Edición 300 - Corre, corre, que te pillo, chocolate, molinillo...
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Edición 299 - La muerte de Don Mendo
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Edición 298 - Cállese señor Chávez
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Edición 297 - Si no fuera por mi perro…
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Edición 294 - Los condenados
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Edición 293 - La máquina del tiempo
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Edición 292 - Qué perros somos
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Edición 291 - Que lo cuelguen
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Edición 290 - La pregunta del millón
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Edición 289 - El día eterno
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Edición 288 - El primer empleo
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Edición 287 - Hablemos de su libro
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Edición 286 - Pederastia
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Edición 285 - Guerra de banderas
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Edición 284 - Arkaute es España
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Edición 283 - Veredicto: Lesbiana
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Edición 282 - Pobre Azkárraga
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Edición 281 - Viva el verano
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Edición 280 - El espíritu de Ermua
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Edición 278 - Cuánto vale la vida de un soldado
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Edición 277 - La Revolución
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Edición 276 - Cuando explote la bomba
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Edición 275 - Quién merece dormir
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Edición 274 - Parquímetro electoral
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Edición 273 - Champaña electoral
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Edición 272 - Autofagia
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Edición 271 - La parida
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Edición 270 - Libertad de Prensa
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Edición 269 - Guerragilipollismo
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Edición 268 - Viejas leyes, nuevas muertes
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Edición 267 - Relinchos en el bosque
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Edición 265 - Aberración jeltzale
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Edición 264 - No lavéis mis calcetines, lavadme a mí
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Edición 263 - Viva el sentido común
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Edición 262 - Gracias, José Luis Coll
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Edición 261 - Prisión atenuada
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Edición 260 - Hacen falta pruebas
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Edición 259 - Harrikatu eta sutu
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Edición 258 - Euskaraz mesedez
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Edición 254 - Tú eres del PP
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Edición 253 - Liquidado, insalvable, roto
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Edición 252 - La muerte de Sadam
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Edición 251 - El cartel
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Edición 249 - Chávez Noel
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Edición 248 - .
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Edición 247 - Eta sigue siendo Eta
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Edición 245 - Un freno para la normalización
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Edición 244 - No es para tanto
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Edición 243 - En la línea de fuego
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Edición 242 - La presunta huelga
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Edición 241 - Huelga de justicia
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Edición 240 - ETA vuelve a matar
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Edición 239 - Informes falsos y otros logros del PSOE
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Edición 238 - Rendición en mi nombre no
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Edición 237 - Fascistas ante el mundo
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Edición 236 - Etxepare
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Edición 235 - Lo que dijo Antonio
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Edición 234 - Máxima alerta en el País Vasco
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Edición 233 - Descanso etermo
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Edición 232 - Los últimos días de Galicia
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Edición 231 - Gotzone Mora al teléfono
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Edición 230 - Salir adelante
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Edición 229 - El dios del PSOE
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Edición 228 - Austrigones
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Edición 227 - Donde está el clamor popular
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Edición 226 - Es la guerra
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Edición 225 - Txapote
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Edición 224 - TORTURAS
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Edición 218 - La gran mentira
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Edición 215 - El botellón de Espronceda
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Edición 214 - Maestro
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Edición 213 - Precio político
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Edición 212 - 24M
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Edición 208 - La unión hace la fuerza
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Edición 207 - La pipa de Damocles
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Edición 206 - El Motín
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Edición 201 - Dromedario de la Lengua española
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Edición 200 - Noche de paz
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Edición 199 - Una vez al año
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Edición 198 - Profesión: asesino a sueldo
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Edición 197 - Tres tristes tigres
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Edición 196 - Extrañas costumbres
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Edición 195 - Los juicios de Nüremberg
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Edición 189 - Estatut: entre pillos anda el juego
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Edición 188 - Dromedario de la Lengua española
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Edición 187 - Vergüenza vasca
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Edición 186 - Albricias hilarantes
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Edición 185 - Dromedario de la Lengua Española
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Edición 184 - Eta es Eta
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Edición 183 - Antes se coge a un Linné que a un cojo
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Edición 182 - Dromedario de la Lengua española III
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Edición 181 - Dime con quien andas...
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Edición 180 - Dromedario de la Lengua española II
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Edición 179 - Tumbado en la hamaca ordeño la vaca
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Edición 178 - Sin título
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Edición 177 - Manda huevos
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Edición 176 - Gracias, compañero
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Edición 175 - Estamos enfermos
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Edición 174 - Dromedario de la lengua española
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Edición 173 - Terrorista viene de terror
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Edición 172 - Mis disculpas
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Edición 171 - La evidencia del pato
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Edición 170 - NO
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Edición 169 - Impunidad
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Edición 168 - La ‘belle vie’
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Edición 167 - La edad de la inocencia
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Edición 166 - Snowball
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Edición 165 - Me casé con un guisante
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Edición 164 - La transición
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Edición 163 - Todavía soñamos
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Edición 162 - Devotos
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Edición 161 - Por favor, siempre llame dos veces
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Edición 160 - El pescador, la oveja y el gobio creciente
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Edición 159 - ¿Por qué El Quijote?
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Edición 158 - Fundamentos de la Parasitología
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Edición 157 - Sprengel
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Edición 156 - Cenas
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Edición 155 - A golpe de higo maduro
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Edición 154 - Ahí va eso
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Edición 153 - La mula coja
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Edición 152 - Triunfadores
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Edición 151 - Blefuscuros
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Edición 150 - Adivina quién viene a cenar esta noche
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Edición 149 - De sol a sol
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Edición 148 - Mal tiempo
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Edición 147 - Humanidad
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Edición 146 - ¡A jugar!
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Edición 145 - El poder del lobo
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Edición 144 - Lazos que nos unen
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Edición 143 - Felices en fiestas
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Edición 142 - ¡Dios mío, hay un cadáver en mi bañera!
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Edición 141 - Talante
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Edición 140 - Urnas o féretros
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Edición 138 - La burra
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Edición 137 - Carta a la nación
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Edición 136 - Con permiso
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Edición 134 - Los inevitables
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Edición 133 - Lucha callejera
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Edición 132 - Cosas que importan
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Edición 131 - La indiferencia de los buenos
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Edición 130 - El diablo está en su derecho
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Edición 129 - Odio
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Edición 128 - Educación sexual
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Edición 127 - ‘Pescado de crianza, pescado de confianza’
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Edición 126 - Los derechos del diablo
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Edición 125 - Moda política
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Edición 124 - Mis vacaciones
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Edición 123 - Mobilis inmobilis
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Edición 122 - Soy feminista
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Edición 121 - Ser o no ser
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Edición 120 - Violencia verbal
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Edición 119 - Mafias
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Edición 118 - Mentes grises
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Edición 117 - Primavera
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Edición 116 - Curiosidades
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Edición 115 - Jefes
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Edición 114 - Libros a granel
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Edición 113 - La boda
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Edición 112 - Darwin también descendía del mono
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Edición 111 - ¿Qué es la verdad?
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Edición 110 - Sabidurencia
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Edición 109 - Amor
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Edición 106 - A los madrileños
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Edición 105 - Alegría
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Edición 104 - Relaciones sociales
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Edición 103 - El sexo del amor
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Edición 102 - Prohibido
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Edición 101 - Ya será menos
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Edición 100 - Carta abierta a Carod Rovira
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Edición 99 - Quiero uno, mamá
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Edición 98 - El saber
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Edición 97 - Entrevistas
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Edición 96 - Miedo
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Edición 95 - Oiga, no será usted poeta…
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Edición 94 - Spab aun laufen
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Edición 93 - Al hombre de las cavernas
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Edición 92 - Doce tías sin piedad
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Edición 91 - Sólo soy un hombre
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Edición 90 - Un respeto al dolor
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Edición 89 - Hay algo que me preocupa
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Edición 88 - Érase una vez...
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Firmas
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Abel Abascal
Alberto Acereda
Alfonso Berroya
Alfredo Amestoy
Álvaro Peña
Amilibia
Antonio Castro Villacañas
Antonio Martín Beaumont
Borja Álvarez
Carmen Planchuelo
Enrique de Aguinaga
Ernesto Ladrón de Guevara
Eulogio López
Félix Arbolí
Francisco Daunis
Gabriela Ardiles
Germán Lopezarias
Honorio Feito
Hugo Alberto de Pedro (Buenos Aires)
Ignacio San Miguel
Ismael Medina
Javier del Valle
Javier Neira
Jesús Ansebar
Jesús Pozo
Joan Pla
Joaquín Abad
José A. Baonza
José Luis Navas
José Manuel G. Torga
José Manuel G. Torga
José María Moncasi de Alvear
José Meléndez
Juan Pablo Mañueco
Juan Urrutia
Julen Urrutia
Luis Irazu
Manuel Salvador Morales
María del Mar García Aguiló
Marta Rivera de la Cruz
Matías J. Ros
Miguel Ángel García Brera
Miguel Ángel Loma
Miguel Martínez
Nieves Concostrina
Óscar Molina
Pancho Linde
Pascual de Bustares
Ramón Sánchez
Ricardo Navas-Ruiz
Vasco Lourinho (Portugal)
Víctor Corcoba
Wenceslao Pérez Gómez
Wifredo Espina
Yolanda Cruz
Yolanda Salanova
Zain Deane (Nueva York)
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